We met this hippie guy who talks a lot like I do.... Like in circles with random heavy words that just confuse people. (He won me over with 'proliferating') He's had a store in the Mountain Mall on the main strip for 18 years. Just closed the doors. Which proves to me that we're making the right decision in closing up shop. We discussed doing shows together because his work and ours compliment each other so well. And he taught me that 9 mile canyon in Utah is actually about 30 miles long... I realize that's random, but a cool little factoid.
I met his wife for a brief moment too. She's very lovely. And she makes these Alice in Wonderland chess sets that are so BadAss I can't even begin to describe them with any justice. And they have the most beautiful baby girl............ *sigh*
She invited us to this little "art swap" they host. It's sorta 'dirty Santa' where you draw a number and choose what you want, then those after you have the opportunity to steal what you chose.. I'm so down with that! A night around a campfire, moonshine, like minded company, art.... I'm in!
I know I said my head was straight, but I still find myself caught up in Chad's complete lack of ambition, attention span of a toddler, and total disregard for responsibility. I love him. Good God I love him!! But we had another "fight". Which plays out like this; I state why I'm pissed, he apologizes (barely listening) with no intention of changing anything, we don't speak for awhile then let it fade away.... No resolve. Ever. Something nearly identical will happen again tomorrow and I get to chose whether or not it's worth complaining about or just let it go... I don't ask for much, just a little help. Taking a box (I had previously packed) to the store before I get home isn't too much to ask over the course of FIVE DAYS.... He took the time to walk it from the front door to the back room, but not to the car. 'Cause he "forgot what I wanted him to do with it"
Now, I have friends all over this beautiful country with "real" problems. Spouses cheating, with addictions, going through rehab, abusing them, leaving them in the middle of the night.. And I'm complaining aboooouut... what? I know this, yet I can't shake this depression and this anger and can't for the life of me find my smile here anymore...
The other day a man said to me, "You're waaay too easy to get along with." And you know, he's right! On a much deeper level than he even realizes.... I'm a total push over. I recognize this as a huge personality flaw.. But of all people you would think my husband wouldn't take advantage of that....
Other than that, same ol' same. Someone called me "Darlin'" in the most sarcastic manner yesterday and that made me smile at random points throughout the evening.... Which was nice. And I'm missing my friends!!! Our inside jokes, their smiles and the way they wrap me up in their arms like I'm so precious to them <3 I can't remember the last time I was held as much as I was last week.... It was so nice to feel love. I have the greatest friends on earth! And I know I'd be a lot happier if I were able to be closer to them. I only hate Tennessee when I think of them. *sigh* Which is all the time..... And now I'll leave you with a very true statement from one of the greatest television shows ever. (I think a lot of people I know could learn something from this): "Emotions get in the way of judgment.. You ascribed meaning to something that wasn't there. You saw what you wanted to see. You believed what you wanted to believe. Because that's what your emotions do... They fool your perception as to what is real." - Fringe, Observer
